We all sleep under the same stars — dogs and humans alike. Astrology, or how the shifting planets and stars, control and determine our fates and destinies, has been around for as long as humans have glimpsed these strange beacons of light. According to the study of astrology, we are all born into one of 12 zodiac signs, and this timing (as well as other planetary placements) has a direct effect on our lives, choices, and personalities.
Not everyone believes in astrology, and not everyone has to, but absolutely zero people can argue that studying it and exploring its implications isn't a whole lot of fun. Especially when we apply it to our dogs! If you want to see what last week's dog horoscope looked like for your pup, check it out. For the rest of you, this is what the week of December 9 to 15 has in store for your dog, according to their zodiac.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Hello Mercury! The communication planet is popping in this week to deliver an important message. Is it a love letter? No, it’s probably a brand new paycheck. It’s about time you ask for a raise, and not just help from getting from the ground to the couch. Emotionally, you’re feeling more secure than ever, so this is basically the time to ask for and receive everything you could have wanted — and more. What is it that your doggy heart desires? A minimum of two treats for every trick? Five walks a day? Universal healthcare? The world is yours, Aries dog, now take a bite!
Check out last week's Aries dog horoscope.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You’re about to make a new best friend. (DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?) This new relationship could be romantic or platonic, but without a doubt, it will change your whole existence. This new companion will help you distinguish between everything real and fake in life — and probably teach you what’s worth keeping around and what’s worth burying in the backyard. But before you Marie Kondo all your possessions, remember the full moon is an emotional time and you may have some regrets about throwing away that bone or chew toy. You definitely won’t have any regrets, however, about dumping the toxic dogs from your life. Spark your own joy, Taurus.
Check out last week's Taurus dog horoscope.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Can you feel that, Gemini? That’s the creativity coursing through your veins. You are on the precipice of greatness right now and you’re still worried about what the mailman has in his bag. (OK, but what does he have in his bag anyway?) Inspiration is out there in its many forms and it may strike at any time, when you least expect it, like on your morning walk or your fourth nap of the day. If any strange or interesting opportunities get thrown your way, chase them, even if they’re a bit out of your comfort zone. You never know if you could be the best at something if you’ve never tried it. And, let’s face it Gemini pup, you’re the best at everything you put your mind to.
Check out last week's Gemini dog horoscope.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
The thing with you, sweet Cancer dog, is that you’re constantly underestimating yourself or thinking of the things you can’t do. As a water sign, you may often think of the glass as being half empty. Being so in tune with not only your emotions, but also everyone else’s, can have an impact on even the strongest of dogs. When the days get shorter and the nights are long, you may find yourself retreating into your own head and thinking and thinking until you nearly burst! What you need is a brand new hobby to remind yourself of everything you can and will do. You’re a renaissance dog, naturally good at so much, channel your inner crab and have fun with something new. Dance lessons? A paint and sip class? Archery! Whatever you do, you’re sure to hit the bullseye.
Check out last week's Cancer dog horoscope.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You’re no stranger to the good life, Leo; some may say you were born for it. There’s no shame in your game: You like nice things. You like having nice things. You may not like sharing nice things. The thing about this season, however, Leo baby, is it’s all about giving. And deep down, we know you know sharing is caring. So maybe go hard for your squad during the holidays. Put down more than just fire memes in the group text. As the natural leader of your pack, you may find others tend to do things for you. Maybe just this once, try and do something nice for them too. Don’t worry, things will go right back to normal next month.
Check out last week's Leo dog horoscope.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Feeling lucky, pup? Huh, do ya? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD. The planets are aligning for you this week, Virgo, and there is the distinct whiff of good fortune in the air. Luck be a puppy tonight! Now is as good a time as any to cancel all your plans, hire the private jet, and ball out in several of Las Vegas’ most extravagant casinos. Prove to everyone that it's a myth dogs are completely colorblind and throw it all on red this week. Dogs are natural gamblers and damn good at poker, according to much of art history, which has dedicated itself to painting the phenomenon. Splash out, Virgo, what could go wrong? Especially when you use your human’s account.
Check out last week's Virgo dog horoscope.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Dear wonderful, lovely Libra. I know you’re a natural people pleaser; I know you want to sit when your human tells you to sit. I know you want to stay quiet when your human stares at a colorful square for eight hours with just a few head pats in between. The thing is, Libra dog, you have to start doing things for yourself. You are a Libra dog, HEAR YOU ROAR. This week, we’re going to learn the magical word “no.” You may not be able to say “no,” as you can’t currently speak English, but you can certainly let everyone around you know when you mean “no.” Generally a lot of barking will do. Next time someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, show them your new vocabulary (and a lot of teeth)!
Check out last week's Libra dog horoscope.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio, Scorpio, Scorpio, you dirty dog, you. They should call you the teflon pup because you’ve been around the block a few times and you’ve come up smelling like roses. That’s not a result of luck, that’s a result of careful strategy. You’ve been playing 4-D chess this entire time and it’s about time you catch everyone up to speed. This week represents the close of whatever massive scheme you’ve been building up to. Of course, not all your schemes are nefarious, you may have been planning a surprise party or a romantic trip for two. But you may also have been plotting to take over the world. Whatever it is, and I’m sure it’s brilliant, just make sure it’s something you want to do. World domination may be cool in theory, but there’s a lot that goes into sustaining it. And you already have a pretty busy 2020.
Check out last week's Scorpio dog horoscope.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You always tell it like it is, Sagittarius, and this week is no exception. You’re not here to be nice to people; you’re here to get things done. This is your season. Others may not appreciate your candor, but they can walk their butts out of the doggy door. This is not the time to sit idly by when the whole world wants to know what you’re thinking. There really isn’t much competition in the world of dog punditry, so maybe start there. If you’re not already on Twitter, get on it. The world needs to know what your opinions on the primary are. They need to see your pup-ed splashed across the opinion section of the New York Times. Soon, the world will hinge on your every bark.
Check out last week's Sagittarius dog horoscope.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
As a Capricorn dog, you speak fluent cash money — even if you don’t have the pockets to carry it around in. And as such, you’re well aware that network makes the net worth. So even if you’re feeling your absolute laziest this week, put on your big dog leash, make some real connections, and show everyone who’s truly top dog. I know they just put all of those really terrible Christmas movies on Netflix that you love to hate (but secretly just love), but the universe is feeling generous with you this week. It’s like the black Friday of good fortune and you can’t afford not to buy in. And once you make those stacks, feel free to lie back and catch up on all the Hallmark movies you missed. They'll still be there.
Check out last week's Capricorn dog horoscope.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
The ever analytical Aquarius dog may find it hard to trust their gut over their intellect. However, some situations, like the one that will arise this week not only call for it, but demand it. No one loves a puzzle more than the curious Aquarius, but this isn’t something logic or reason can solve. This is all about trusting your doggy instincts, putting your nose to the ground, and following a hunch. Listening to your intuition may be a brand new trick for you to learn, logical Aquarius, but it will yield a far bigger reward than you can imagine — or eat.
Check out last week's Aquarius dog horoscope.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You are a shapeshifter, watery Pisces, and you pour yourself into new forms every day. Keeping tabs on someone who chronically goes with the flow is damn near impossible, but that’s how you like it. Being elusive is all a part of the plan — and the plan is having no plans. Everyone knows the best plans are canceled ones — especially when all you want to do is curl up under a warm blanket on a comfy couch and just while your day away. You’re an independent soul, Pisces, and sometimes you can’t fight it. So feel free to get cozy without all the guilt — there’s plenty of time for more of that in the new year. Today we laze.
Check out last week's Pisces dog horoscope.