This is the year of the dog, according to the Chinese zodiac, but when you love pups you know, every year is your dog’s year. Astrology, or the study of the planets and stars and their effect on your life, can be both fun and informative — even if you’re a little bit skeptical. But it's especially fun when we turn our psychic third eyes on our pets.
If you’re interested in reliving the past (and confirming we were right), you can check out last week’s dog horoscope. For those of you who like to live a bit more presently, you can check out how your dog’s week will look from December 2 to December 8 2019 below.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This week, Aries, you’ll be confronted by the biggest decision you’ll ever have to make in your life — and we’re not just talking about choosing between peeing on your favorite tree or your favorite hydrant. The best part? There’s no reason to be on your guard, dog, because you’re completely ready for it. BRING IT ON, UNIVERSE! Just remember, as the leader of the pack, your decision will have consequences for the other canines in your life. Make sure you’re thinking with your head over your heart, as we know your passion can get the better of you. Take a few sniffs of the unfamiliar before you growl; take a few breaths before you barrel into anyone’s arms. This is a good week for you, Aries, and the start of a good month. The key to success is moderation — just make sure you’re moderating how much you’re moderating.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You don’t mean to find yourself the center of attention AGAIN, and you certainly didn’t mean to make yourself the center of tension either — you just can't help it. As a wise and practical Taurus, it only makes sense that others seek your sage advice. You’re a patient dog, but no one wants to be a canine pooper scooper for other dogs' problems. You’re always quick to fix things, Taurus, but sometimes you need to turn that energy inward and work on yourself. The truth is, even as a natural peacemaker, you have to be careful about rolling around in other dogs' messes; you might end up covered in sh*t.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
This is the kind of weather that can drive any dog inside, Gemini, but now is definitely not the right time to play dead. The talkative (OK, sometimes yappy) Gemini thrives on social interaction in order to feel like their best self. Burrowing away for the whole of winter might sound cozy (like, really cozy), but will surely give any true Gemini dog a bout of the winter blues. Don’t fret though, doggo, you don’t have to spend all day in the snow to have a good conversation; have a playdate at home, bingeing “Isle Of Dogs” with your best pupper pals. It’s easy to feel lazy when the days are short and the nights are long, but the true Gemini dog can’t stay down (or do anything, really) for too long.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Sometimes you just need to feel like you’re needed, Cancer dog. Like you’re the sun, moon, and stars of your human’s life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for a little more affection either. You should never second guess the ingredients you need to be happy, little Cancer. And if that’s two parts head scratches, three parts treats, and four parts cuddles... make sure you’re not settling for anything less than you deserve. It’s important, however, that you don’t become too codependent on one human in your life either — especially if they’re not giving you the same 110%. Trust your instincts, Cancer, trust your nose. If you think something smells funny, it probably is! You're only bringing clean energy into your life in 2020.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
This week will be pure chaos, Leo dog, and fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you ask) this is where you thrive. You may be acting even more spontaneous than usual, Leo, and the humans around you may fear the fire in your puppy dog eyes. It’s natural not to want to get burnt, but make sure you’re not letting anyone dampen the powerful flames that drive you. If others try to question your decisions, let them know you’re in complete control, and that no one can collar you when you’re in the zone. Embrace the chaos by doing something that completely scares you — and your human. How could this go wrong?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
The super rational Virgo dog would of course look to the final month of the year as a period of self-reflection. It’s fine to take a good, long hard look at yourself, Virgo, but it’s also important to remember that dogs don’t recognize themselves in mirrors, which makes this a pretty worthless endeavor. So don’t get too caught up in the little things and enjoy all that the past year has brought you. Instead of circling your food dish and fretting about the new year, take a couple of self-care days and really treat yourself. The spa would be a nice reprieve from your own inner monologue. Trim your hair, cut your nails, get your shampoo on. It’s nice to be pampered, and it’s especially nice when you can pamper yourself.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
It’s been hard to get much done for the past few weeks and you can’t quite explain why your head has been in the clouds. All that is about to change though, Libra, as Jupiter is all up in your business this week and is shining its (very, very faraway) light on you. Now is the time to start a new project or jump on the next creative endeavor that tickles your fancy — or tickles you anywhere you enjoy really. You may feel yourself overwhelmed with passion, so don’t get too ahead of yourself. If it feels like you’re on a no-win mission, chasing your tail to no avail, channel your energy into other endeavors — like your love life or the next bowl of dog food.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Why so serious, Scorpio? We may live in a society that promotes hard work over good fun, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your dog treats and eat them too. Jupiter is shining all its luck down on you, making this the perfect time to experience anything and everything you can. Smile more! Let your hair down, dog. This is a great time to travel, to try something new, to get the IG game flowing. You’re full of potential energy this week, Scorpio, it feels like you’re nearly bursting at the seams. Don’t bark your head off at doors with nothing you need behind them, make sure you bark with purpose. That’s what real boss dogs do, Scorpio, and we all know who's really in charge.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
This isn’t your week, Sagittarius, no matter which way you shake it. And, believe me, you have shaken it. That doesn’t mean you're having particularly bad luck, it’s just that you feel a bit stuck and are struggling to get anything done. Being ineffectual is incredibly hard for the Sagittarius who’s always pushing things forward, but it also makes room for some "you time." Worry less about the future and focus on the present. Grounding yourself is the key to kicking this week in the butt and making it all feel different by the time next week rolls over. Motivation may be hard to come by, but it isn’t impossible. If you can find something that’s both distracting and constructive, we can count this week as a win. And as a Sagittarius, of course, you’re always counting — and you’re always winning.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
The Capricorn dog has a habit of controlling every little detail around them, which can sometimes make them not the most fun to be around. This week, however, it’s like new dog, who dis? Your charm, your wit, your effervescent bark is all anyone can talk about. Don’t let this harmonious balance of the stars go to waste. This is absolutely the time to try something new, or even to try someone new. You are currently in full control of everything (as per usual), but you will be confronted with an opportunity to let it all go, stick your head out of the open car window, and see where you end up. Giving someone else the reins may not feel natural to the Capricorn dog, but letting someone else hold the leash is sometimes exactly what you need to end up right where you belong (prefarably close to food).
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
If it seems like everyone around you is slacking off even more than usual, you’re right, you observant Aquarius. For some reason, despite the season or the weather, you’ve got a lot of pent-up energy. This is the perfect time to prove to others that you work harder than everyone — especially your boss. If you do succumb to the lazy feeling wafting around, you may find the excess energy will build up or bubble over in frustration. Try finding other mediums, like Ultimate Frisbee with your dog bros. Just make sure you don’t take any extra energy out on the dogs or humans you love the most. You’re better than that, Aquarius. That's because you’re better than everyone.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
It is time to shop until you drop, Pisces. Friday doesn’t have to be black for you to get the best deals. Your love language is all about showering others (and also receiving MANY) gifts. After a busy year, it’s time to spoil the ones you love — and what better way to do that than by spending a load of money on them? If your pockets aren’t that deep (because you’re a dog and you don’t generally have any), use your creative spirit to DIY the best for your family and friends. Of course, your human may appreciate you saving them some extra food, but the greatest gift you can give is your time. Spend the week (and the money) on the people in your life who have earned it. Just to clarify: I mean me. I’m one of them.